Dear Guru Maharaja,
Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to You and S.P.
Unfortunately I was rude to a woman at the store today . I feel bad about it however I did not have the courage to apologize to that woman .I have had this problem 1 million times before and I am truly sorry about it and I feel bad about doing it each time but I don’t apologize to the people after I do it . I feel that krsna is going to punish me severely for my actions.
there is a part of me that feels that if I just confess to you about my behavior then everything will be OK but I don’t think that is how it works. I am looking for some resolution because I am so worried about me being rude to people in the past and making them feel bad that I am scared.
I truly am sorry for how I behaved towards that woman just now at the store. and I feel very bad about hurting her feelings. however, I did not apologize to her face because I was scared. so I don’t know what to do with my feelings and I don’t know if you can give me any good advice on how to deal with this current situation. can you please help me? I know you can see these type of things better than I can and you might have better answers for how to resolve these issues. can you please tell me what I should do about this woman and previous people that I have offended? and how I should deal with these type of situations when they occur in the future? thank you so much.
Dear Bhakta ***,
Please receive my blessings. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
Yes, of course you should apologize. That’s good. However, as we have spoken many times, this is a problem of yours since the day we first met. You can’t control your rage and you are short-tempered.
Like physical deseases, if you have a light problem, a headche for example, you take an aspirin and it will be gone in a few hours. But if you have a serious illness you’ll have to go through a process. First of all you go to a doctor, which is the Guru and he will analyze you. Then he will give you a prescription. “Take this, don’t take that, do this, don’t do that”. If after some time you go back to the same doctor and you tell him that your illness is still there, and he will ask you “did you follow the prescription?”, if you answer him “no”, he will replay, “then how do you expect to get back to a healthy state?”.
The prescriptions of Krishna consciousness work very well. They worked for countless people since the beginning of creation; they will work for you also if you are serious on following them.
You chant Hare Krishna every day (whether one day you like it or not), study our philosophy (whether you understand it or not), engage in some kind of devotional service (I asked to do some service but you never accepted it) and all other good things I recommended you and thing will get better.
Of course I know of your desease which makes everything more difficult.
About anger, Bhagavad-gita (16.21) tells us:
dvaram nasanam atmanah
kamah krodhas tatha lobhas
tasmad etat trayam tyajet
“There are three gates leading to this hell –
lust, anger and greed. Every sane man should give these up, for they lead to the degradation of the soul.”
In the commentary to this verse Srila Prabhupada says:
“The beginning of demoniac life is described herein. One tries to satisfy his lust, and when he cannot, anger and greed arise. A sane man who does not want to glide down to the species of demoniac life must try to give up these three enemies, which can kill the self to such an extent that there will be no possibility of liberation from this material entanglement.”
Can’t be clearer than this.
Before Chapter 16, Sri Krishna had been even more analytical on describing the path to destruction of human life. The two verses 2.62,63 are a masterpiece of human psycology.
Please go read them and meditate on the import.
Manonatha Dasa (ACBSP)
THE NEW ARCHIVE: www.isvara.org
Many questions and answer by Manonatha Dasa (ACBSP) in Isvara Archive.