The humility of the devotee is described by Sanatana Gosvami in the next verse, quoted by Srila Rupa Gosvami in Bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu. One who has reached the level of rati (bhava) and with steadfast faith hopes that Krishna will be kind to him, prays like this:
na prema sravanadi-bhaktir api va yoga ‘thava vaisnavo
jnanam va subha-karma va kiyad aho saj-jatir apy asti va
hinarthadhika-sadhake tvayi tathapy acchedya-mula sati
he gopi-jana-vallabha vyathayate ha ha mad-asaiva mam (4)
Oh my Lord, I have no love for You, I am not even qualified to perform the devotional service of chanting and listening. I don’t even possess the mystical power of a
Vaisnava, knowledge or pious activities, nor do I belong to a very high caste. Overall, I have nothing. Yet, O beloved of the gopis, as You grant Your mercy to the most fallen, I have an unshakable hope constantly present in my heart. That hope always gives me pain.
The devotee’s introduction to his own siddha-deha (spiritual form) is described in Radha-rasa-sudha-nidhi (53):
dukulam vibhranamatha kucatate kancukapatam
prasadam svaminyah svakara-tala-dattam pranayatah
sthitam nityam parsve vividha-paricaryaika-caturam
kisorim atmanam catulaparakiyam nu kalaye (5)
In my siddha-deha I am a servant (manjari) of Radharani. It is with deep love that Srimati Radharani bestowed Her mercy on me by dressing me in what You wore. Wearing these clothes, I will see myself as a teenager who always stays close to Srimati Radharani, ready to skillfully serve Her in different ways. So, I will leave my husband and serve Radha’s lotus feet in the groves of Vrndavana, day and night.
This is a section of the book “Bhajana Rahasya”, by Bhaktivinode Thakura – EN ENGLISH.
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