I Could Not Serve You According to Your Heart’s Wishes!

 

Sri Radha Ramana

Second meaning: “I have been given to Mitra (My beloved Krishna), who is endowed with the splendour of Sri (the goddess of fortune as a golden stripe on His chest), who destroys the affliction caused by Cupid (atanu), who is very passionate (anuragi), and who is the friend of the Padminis (padmini bandhu), the lotuslike gopis!”

 

While Sri Radhika recites these mantras the brahmacari Krishna offers flowers, padya (footwater) and arghya (handwater) to the deity of the Sungod.

Svamini is very eager to offer the oblations, being faced by Jatila!

How sweetly She stands there, surrounded by Her dearest girlfriends!

That’s why She is named Mugdhangi, the Girl with the enchanting limbs.

The rasika manjaris have prepared an altar made of sunstones with the different paraphernalia for this formal worship.

Mugdhangi offers oblations to awaken desires.

Everyone’s minds and hearts float away in innumerable directions on the stream of the relish of wonderfully variegated transcendental flavours.

 

Old Jatila, satisfied with the procedure of the ritual, offers eatables and Radhika’s jewelled ring to the brahmacari as a reward.

How much fun all the gopis have inwardly!

Our brahmacari, who claims to be a disciple of Garga Muni, accepts nor the food, nor the ring. He is learned in astrology and marine scriptures, and He tells old Jatila:

‘I am purchased only by the love of the people of Vraja!”

 

Knowing that Visva Sarma is also a great astrologer, Jatila says:

“I would be blessed if You could read the hand of my daughter-in-law so that you could tell me about Her future success and failure!”

Seeing Radha’s handpalm Visva Sarma becomes overwhelmed by ecstasy and, concealing His astonishment, says:

“How amazing! When I see all these sacred signs in Her hand, I am convinced that this girl is the goddess of fortune Herself! Wherever She stays all opulence and auspiciousness can be found!”

 

Each limb of Radharani is filled with waves of maha bhava.

How much Her heart is throbbing! Svamini thinks:

“This boy must be Syamasundara, otherwise why would I feel so ecstatic? My desires would be fulfilled if I could unite with this brahmacari!” 

Tulasi, being in a sense non-different from Svamini, feels these desires also awakening in her heart and thinks:

“It would be great if I could unite my Svamini with this brahmacari, but Her mother-in-law is around, so there’s just no way! O Radhe! I’m so unqualified, alas! I could not serve You according to Your heart’s wishes!”

 

 

This is a section of the book “Vrindavana Lila”.

To buy the complete book, click above

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