Srila Prabhupada, please don’t go

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Giriraj Swami: One night in the middle of the night when I was sleeping on the roof of the gurukula building, one of Prabhupada’s assistants came and woke me up.

And immediately so many thoughts rushed through my mind: Is Prabhupada leaving? Is something wrong? What’s happening?

He said, “Prabhupada is calling you.”

So I rushed into Srila Prabhupada’s room, and then every word of Srila Prabhupada’s was so full of meaning because one never knew, one thought it might be Prabhupada’s last words or last instructions.

Srila Prabhupada asked me, “Do you think the movement will go on after I go?”

And I said, “Yes, as long as we are sincere and chant our rounds and follow the regulative principles, it will go on.”

And then Srila Prabhupada, with great difficulty because he was so sick and so weak, pronounced the words “intelligence and organization.”

And I realized that yes, we do have to chant our 16 rounds and follow the regulative principles and be sincere in our devotional service.

But to preach Krishna consciousness we have to be intelligent and organized, and Srila Prabhupada wanted to balance what I had said with the powerful instruction “intelligence and organization.”

Then Srila Prabhupada asked, “Is there anything else?”

And within my heart I wanted to cry out, “Srila Prabhupada, stay, please stay, don’t leave!”

But somehow I couldn’t say it and I just said, “No, there’s nothing else.”

And later I regretted that I didn’t say what was in my heart.

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