Back home, back to Vrindavana

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In a second all the airplane shakes were gone.

As I was sitting on the narrow seat of Airindia airplane I was reading a book and a passage said that if you ardently desire to reside in Mathura, you’ll achieve it.

The glories of Vrindavana were all desplayed in that book and I was feeling moved, because I was going to that Vrindavana.

I was deeply meditating on the land, on Yamuna, on the devotees, on the greeting of “Radhe Radhe” I was missing so much.

And all at once, gone was the airplane, gone the stewards, gone the turbolences, gone my airsickness.
I was in Vrindavana in my mind and serving the holy dhama by doing parikrama. And one by one all the most beautiful places in the creation was materialized in my heart. And I saw Srila Prabhupada guiding his devotees in kirtana, and I saw the sweetest Radha-Syamasundara, and I saw Govardhana and Radhakunda-Syamakunda.

That book was saying, if you really want it, you’ll get residence in Vrindavana. So easy. And I wanted it. I was going there.

And a phrase echoed in my mind:
“It takes a heart hard as a stone to leave Vrindavana.”

If it was not stone-hearted, how could you leave it without breaking it?

When some time after I left Vrindavana, I remember that phrase and I realized that I had a heart hard like a stone.

Maybe a devotee should leave Vrindavana for preaching. This is what I felt Srila Prabhupada was telling me.
But I feel a devotee should preach with the heart full of pain having to preach so far from home. Transform the heart into Vrindavana, longing to go back home, back to Vrindavana. Don’t wish to reside anywhere else.

Manonatha Dasa (ACBSP)
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