Women: Masters or Mothers?

Janananda Maharaja’s Appreciation for Women: Masters or Mothers?
BY: H.H. JANANANDA MAHARAJA
Jun 04, 2016 — INDIA (SUN) — A letter to H.H. Bhakti Vikasa Swami.

Dear Maharaja, Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

I just wanted to comment a little on the book – Women: Masters or Mothers? I have just finished reading it. Your disciple in London – forgot his name – asked me to give some comment or perhaps approach the authorities there in London as to why they have prohibited its sale in their shops and temples. I was not aware of that – I heard that in Mayapura there was some objection last year but that is all I knew. Well I would be surprised that those who have made the decision to ban the book have actually gone thru it. I have read it fairly comprehensively and frankly found it well balanced – in no way offensive – well researched . respectfully presented in general – perhaps the naming of certain individuals could have been averted, informative and very Krsna conscious to name a few aphorisms.
I felt more could have been said about one of the primary underlying catalysts to the issue – the misbehaviour of the husbands and certain male figureheads in our society etc. From my experience in most cases of breakdown in the family has come from the male side – offensive behaviour. Aggression to the wife – excessive sexual abuse. Again and again over decades I have heard that the wives just could not tolerate it. As one of the quotes in the book states that a wife should serve a husband who is not fallen. What constitutes fallen? Does that infer she should not serve him if he is fallen? How much can they tolerate. Surely it is the husbands job to act in goodness since the women naturally are influenced by passion and ignorance. If the husbands had played their part I am sure the situation would not have been what it is now. It is the mans job to protect but when he is exploiting instead then what can be done. Equality means both have a responsibility to play their parts. In many cases the husbands have just not protected their wives. Of course there are many cases of the onus being on the females part also.
In Vedic culture or anywhere come to that there was no legal marriage so where would the question of legal divorce enter in. Now in order to go on the sannyasa list you must have a legal divorce from one’s wife if one is married. I had to go thru that. Seems quite contradictory. What would you say in a case which I am presently experiencing. The husband and wife are both devotees and Indian. They lived in the Us and only the husband worked in a good job. For some reason he started to develop negativity towards the local ISKCON and in general began to look elsewhere for inspiration – rtvik, gaudiya matha. His behaviour also became erratic and unpredictable to the point that he just left ISKCON persay and decided to go back to India and start his own movement more or less. He demanded his wife and child follow him and give up their connection with ISKCON altogether. He had also become physically abusive to his wife. The wife was for sure not submissive after some point and refused to give up ISKCON, or go to India and follow him. He became quite irate and left. Since then the relationship has been very distant – from all reports and letters he sends to me also he is willing to say, do and promise just about anything to get his way but she is not budging and is filing for divorce. Unlike most civil cases we have the added complexity of the spiritual commitment involved not just the material compatibility. Which is the higher consideration – allegiance to one’s Krsna conscious principles or following theoretical dharma even though it is not really a dharmic affair in its actions. Just staying married does not make it dharmic necessarily.
What can be done if the husband or wife is really fallen. Are they to tolerate the fallen behaviour at the cost of their Krsna conscious practice. Another real dilemma is sex only for kids. In the city for sure, with no extended family, to have more than 2 kids is really unmanageable for many. What to do – they cannot marry more than one wife. Cannot have sex with their one wife if they do not want to have more children. This is often why the men go to prostitutes, watch porn or have an affair with another woman. They are not so advanced and simply frustrated and lusty.
Specifics aside the book seems directed towards presenting the Vedic – Krsna conscious standpoint and especially in relationship with Varnasrama. Mostly it comes over that this is the main thrust with a deep concern about the ultimate protection of society – to free them from fear by taking shelter of Krsna’s instruction in terms of duty etc. the special emphasis on the welfare of the children and the womenfolk is very much appreciated.
I do not feel there is any strong ground to ban this book especially in the light that so many questionable books have and are being sold

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