email 6

Dear Guru Maharaja,
Please accept my humble obeisances.  All glories to You and SP.

There’s a so-called devotee at the temple here.  He has disrespected me a few times so far.  He lives in the ashram and I see him every day.  He acts passive aggressively towards me.  In other words I can feel his animosity towards me every time I’m around him.  I feel disrespected and intimidated by him.  I know that he doesn’t like me.  His actions towards me prove that he doesn’t like me or respect me.  I’m thinking about telling the men’s ashram leader, but I’m too scared right now to do that.

I just want to Honestly share my feelings about him.  He triggers my anxiety and especially my anger.  It’s hard for me to accept him because he’s always around whenever I go the temple.  So I truly despise him.  I don’t consider him a true Devotee.  I wish that I could physically fight him.  I cannot put into words how much I hate this man.  I know You probably don’t like hearing me say these things but I really wanted to tell you about this.  I have a major problem with him.  I hate him so much that I wish that he would die right now.

Every time I’m at the temple he’s right there.  If there are temple programs, he’s always there.  I cannot avoid him.  I don’t want to stop going to the temple because of him, but every time I go it’s a problem with him.  I feel totally justified saying this because he has disrespected me several times already.  I don’t feel like telling you about the different instances when he disrespected me.  But I am telling you the truth.

It’s people like him I have a difficult time with.  When someone disrespects me several times, and doesn’t say I’m sorry,  that really upsets me.  I really want You to understand how much fear I have when I’m around him.  I feel threatened by him.  I know that he’s not going to assault me,  but that’s how he makes me feel.  And the fact that he has passive aggressively disrespected me,  it makes me extremely angry at him.  He doesn’t behave like a devotee to me.  Maybe I should tell the ashram leader about him.  I’d be too uncomfortable to tell the temple president, because I don’t get along with the president here.

I just want you to understand the severity of this situation with me and this man.  I’m not able to get any sleep because I’m so upset about this situation.  So I wanted to ask you, if I chant 16 rounds every day. And if I read the Bhagavad-Gita every day. Do you think, in your opinion, that this situation with this horrible man will improve for me?  I know that I’ve asked you before about if I do my chanting and my reading, if other situations in my life would improve.  I hate to say it, but this is a volatile situation with me and this man. I don’t want to get in the physical fight with him.  I don’t even want to get in a verbal argument with him. I don’t want to cause any problems with the temple here.

I’m desperate for a solution to this problem. Because I would say for the last three weeks or a month, this problem between me and him has been escalating.  I really feel like he’s the one who is wrong in the situation, not me.  I never did anything disrespectful towards him, but he has done many disrespectful things towards me.  He’s the antagonist in this situation.

I’m extremely upset about this so-called Devotee.  I view him as a bully.  It is my hope that if I continue on with my chanting 16 rounds every day that things will get better.  Of course I wish You would tell me that things will get better, but I don’t know if You will tell me that this time.

So my hate for him is increasing day by day.  It’s a very bad situation right now.  I really don’t know what to do about it. I try to keep my distance from him, but I’m going to have to see him if I go to the temple, and he will definitely be in the group activities. That’s a Temple holds.  I just cannot tolerate him.  So like I said, this is a very bad situation for me. And I want you to understand how serious this is for me.  I feel very hopeless about it. Because it just keeps getting worse and worse by the day.  I’m just hoping that if I continue on with my devotional service, things will get better, but I don’t know if they will or not.  This so-called Devotee is the only person at the temple that I really have a problem with, other than a Temple president here.

If you could give me any advice about this situation, I would greatly appreciate it. I know that I’ve told you things like this 1 million times before in the past. But this is such a difficult situation for me with this person. It’s consuming me right now.  Like I said, I can’t even sleep tonight. It’s bothering me that much.  I was hoping for so long that he would get kicked out of the temple or that he would voluntarily leave. But that is definitely not happening for sure.

I don’t know if you will respond to this email, but I really hope you do.  Like I said, I do feel very hopeless about this situation with him.  I really don’t know what to do about it, I’m very confused. And it makes me so upset because I don’t know if and when this situation with this guy is going to improve.  This is a very serious situation for me right now.  If there’s anything that you can tell me, to help me with this, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you very much.

Your servant
Bhakta Rich
Sent from my iPhone