V\u1e5bnd\u0101vana<\/a><\/p>\n <\/p>\n
Brahm\u0101nanda:<\/strong>\u00a0If you’re not feeling well today, it can be postponed to another day.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0I am not feeling… [pause] I did not eat even today.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0Prabhup\u0101da says he did not eat today, Bhakti-caru.<\/p>\nBhakti-caru:<\/strong>\u00a0You were sleeping, \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da, in the afternoon. That’s why I didn’t wake you up.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0No. There was no food at all.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0Didn’t Prabhup\u0101da get milk and barley this morning?<\/p>\nBhakti-caru:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah.<\/p>\nBhav\u0101nanda:<\/strong>\u00a0Also you said he took twelve spoons of\u00a0khicu\u1e5b<\/em>i<\/em>\u00a0and\u00a0loki?<\/em><\/p>\nBhakti-caru:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes. You took some lunch today, \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0You took morning and lunch.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0That is very little.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes. But compared to other days, you took as much or more. Well, then we can postpone and we can put ourselves under the care of this other\u00a0kavir\u0101ja<\/em>\u00a0who came the other day.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0Who came?<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0Remember the\u00a0kavir\u0101ja<\/em>\u00a0from the Ra\u1e45gaj\u012b temple? The assistant that this man was going to bring. So now we can be put under his care and take our chances. ‘Cause that’s what staying here means.<\/p>\nBhav\u0101nanda:<\/strong>\u00a0The\u00a0kavir\u0101j-j\u012b,<\/em>\u00a0he explained that if you remained here, that would be good. But he didn’t think there was any risk of death for you to go to M\u0101y\u0101pur.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0No, actually, when I was making\u00a0parikram\u0101,<\/em>\u00a0this corner, I was feeling fainted.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0This corner?<\/p>\nBrahm\u0101nanda:<\/strong>\u00a0At the turn. Prabhup\u0101da felt like fainting.<\/p>\nBhav\u0101nanda:<\/strong>\u00a0I saw when he closed his eyes.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, most of this traveling that we’re going to do, you will be laying down.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0That laying down and this laying down, that is different.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, then we have to think of what the alternative is. Staying here means being subject to the possible care of this assistant who you saw the other day, ’cause this\u00a0kavir\u0101ja<\/em>\u00a0will not wait any longer. He can’t stay here any longer. We can try and convince him to stay, but I don’t know how successful we will be. And he may give his medicines, but if some unforeseen difficulty develops, then it means that we are under the care of this other person.<\/p>\nBhav\u0101nanda:<\/strong>\u00a0This palanquin\u00a0parikram\u0101<\/em>\u00a0is very rough. You’re bouncing up and down. You’re going swinging sideways.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0[aside:] It’s not as rough as traveling to M\u0101y\u0101pur, though—not one tenth as rough or one fiftieth. You know, all you got to do is go on a rough road. It’s nothing. This palanquin is smooth compared to that, going slowly and being carried. I think the main point, \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da, is that we have to consider going as opposed to staying here with the possibility of being at the…, under the care of this other\u00a0kavir\u0101ja.<\/em>\u00a0That to me is the choice. This\u00a0kavir\u0101ja<\/em>\u00a0will give medicines… First of all, we can try to convince him to stay, but failing that, he’s giving a series of medicines which he expects will be proper according to the condition. But naturally the condition can change on any date. Then what will we do?<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0I say no medicine.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0No medicine. We should reject this\u00a0kavir\u0101ja<\/em>.<\/p>\n[background whispering]\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0Hmm?<\/p>\nBrahm\u0101nanda:<\/strong>\u00a0Yadubara was asking how much time the\u00a0kavir\u0101ja<\/em>\u00a0would stay with you in M\u0101y\u0101pur.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0Every few days he’ll be there—every two days, every three days.<\/p>\nYadubara:<\/strong>\u00a0He said like that?<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes, he’s prepared to do that.<\/p>\nBhav\u0101nanda:<\/strong>\u00a0\u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da? Is there some… You’re feeling some bad effect from these medicines that you want to reject them? [pause]\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0At least there is risk of life.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0By traveling.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0I see that.<\/p>\nBhav\u0101nanda:<\/strong>\u00a0We’ve also seen, \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da, that while you’ve been here in V\u1e5bnd\u0101vana without this\u00a0kavir\u0101ja,<\/em>\u00a0your condition has steadily deteriorated. Now he’s come, and there’s some slight improvement. We can speak to him about staying, but it’s highly unlikely that he’ll be able to stay away from his practice for any time longer. Then, if your condition turns again, then what do we do? There’s also risk.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0No, no. Risk is there, and risk is here. So better take the risk here.<\/p>\nBhav\u0101nanda:<\/strong>\u00a0And chance of survival is here and chance of survival is there. But where is the…<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0No. Provided you reach there. There is survival or whatever it may be, but whether there is arrival? The best thing is no medicine, and kindly give me some circambulation and leave me to the fate.<\/p>\nBhakti-caru:<\/strong>\u00a0But, \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da, don’t you think that the medicine is working, is having some good effect?<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0Hmm? If it is working, then why I’m not feeling any strength?<\/p>\nBhakti-caru:<\/strong>\u00a0That will come slowly, \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0Ah. That means I have to take the medicine and not that risking. The best thing is, whatever service you can give, you arrange. Leave me without medicine.<\/p>\nBhav\u0101nanda:<\/strong>\u00a0Why is that the best thing, \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da? Why is that the best thing?<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0Because all, everything has failed.<\/p>\nBhav\u0101nanda:<\/strong>\u00a0This\u00a0kavir\u0101ja<\/em>\u00a0has not promised miraculous recovery. He has said it takes time.<\/p>\nBhakti-caru:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes. At least fifteen days, he said.<\/p>\nBhav\u0101nanda:<\/strong>\u00a0We’re all feeling encouraged for the first time.<\/p>\nBhakti-caru:<\/strong>\u00a0Actually, the\u00a0kavir\u0101ja<\/em>\u00a0has left it up to you, \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da. He said that the way you have cured your cough and cold in just a day, in just a few hours’ time, the same way you can cure all your disease if you want, just yourself, without any medicine. At the same time, you dreamed this R\u0101m\u0101nuja\u00a0kavir\u0101ja<\/em>\u00a0giving you the medicine, and ever since you started taking the medicines there has been some good effect, like you started passing more urine, you started getting a little appetite, little taste; your swelling has gone down, to a little…, to some extent.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0Swelling has not… [long silence]\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0\u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da? About two days ago you said that either the\u00a0kavir\u0101ja<\/em>\u00a0should stay here or we should go with him. So why should we change that idea?<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0Because in this morning I was fainting. So there was no strength. How long I circambulate?<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0About a half hour.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0Even half hour, if I am fainting… So if I die without medicine, without\u00a0kavir\u0101ja,<\/em>\u00a0what is the harm? Hmm?<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0According to the\u00a0kavir\u0101ja,<\/em>\u00a0his treatment is that first of all he has to take care of your liver and kidneys before giving you strength. He said there’s no question of you getting any strength until your liver and kidneys are healed.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0So take the medicine.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes. So the first part of his cure is to help your liver and kidneys. Then, when they are functioning properly, you’ll be able to eat and other things which will automatically give strength. Medicine will not give strength, but medicine can cure the organs which are now not working properly.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0No, you take medicine from him.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0Right. That was his proposal. His proposal was that you take medicine, and then after ten or fifteen days, you may have enough strength… And he was going to come back and then take you to M\u0101y\u0101pur.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0So do that.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes. The only reason that we were hesitant was because if something along the way happens, had he been here, he could have adjusted the medicine to suit the particular needs. Now, not being here, we’ll have to depend upon this assistant in case something changes. If nothing changes, then there’s no harm. But if something should suddenly alter…<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0So that time…<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0What, \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da?<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0Alter means death.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0No, it doesn’t mean death. Alter means supposing you suddenly develop some… You can’t say what it will be. It doesn’t necessarily mean death.<\/p>\nBhakti-caru:<\/strong>\u00a0Some secondary ailments.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes. Anything may come up. Just like sometimes you get a cough. Cough doesn’t mean death. Sometimes you pass a little more stool. That doesn’t mean death. So anyway, the idea is that having a\u00a0kavir\u0101ja<\/em>\u00a0personally present naturally is the best thing. So if it’s not possible, and that does develop, then we’ll have to call upon the man he’s…, this assistant.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0So why call M\u0101y\u0101pur? Let him supply the medicine from Calcutta.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0Supply the medicine from Calcutta. Well, he said he can give enough medicine now to last, I think, for about another ten days. Even now.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0So that is all right.<\/p>\nBhakti-caru:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes. The main medicine, we have the supply for ten days already, that, the one that he distilled yesterday.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0Of course, we can still try and convince him not to go. That would be the best thing.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0No, he’s staying, but actually you are administering his medicine. It doesn’t require…<\/p>\nBhakti-caru:<\/strong>\u00a0…his presence here.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0Providing everything goes according to his plan. Yes, his presence is simply an encouragement, not necessarily a necessity at this…, so far.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0If he cannot stay, let his medicine remain and let him go. But if you think that I am burden now…<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0[chuckling] No, that’s not what we think. We will never think that. There will never come that time.<\/p>\nBrahm\u0101nanda:<\/strong>\u00a0We are the burden, \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47<\/strong>a:<\/strong>\u00a0We are the cause of your disease, \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da.<\/p>\nBrahm\u0101nanda:<\/strong>\u00a0You have to drag us back to Godhead. That is a very big burden.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0So as you think. But this morning I was fainting.<\/p>\nBhakti-caru:<\/strong>\u00a0That is because this\u00a0parikram\u0101<\/em>\u00a0is very strenuous, \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da, this jerking and swinging.<\/p>\nPrabhup\u0101da:<\/strong>\u00a0So how…? How? How we can?<\/p>\nBrahm\u0101nanda:<\/strong>\u00a0So three hours to Delhi, then the plane ride and then three hours to M\u0101y\u0101pur?<\/p>\nBhakti-caru:<\/strong>\u00a0No, I mean that is out of question.<\/p>\nTam\u0101la K<\/strong>